The past few weeks have been a bit of a rollercoaster. I had what I thought was just a cold for about a month and it didn’t seem to be getting any better.
One night the sinus pressure in my face and chest was so bad I couldn’t sleep even after taking Nyquil, Advil, and Robutussion. We decided then that it was time to go to the doctor.
I was so blessed to go to the doctor and have such a kind Haitian doctor who spoke English! He was so nice to me and extremely helpful. He told me he thought I had a sinus infection and wanted to have a CBC done and a malaria test just in case since I’ve been in Haiti for so long.
The results came back and thankfully I didn’t have malaria, but I did have a pretty bad infection so he prescribed me some antibiotics and told me to call him if I didn’t feel better in three days.
Well, five days later I still felt the same. Leonie had been feeling sick as well and last Sunday morning Israelson was preparing to take her to Port-au-Prince to see a doctor there. Tom called me early that morning telling me that he wanted me to pack all my things and head to Port-au-Prince as well, with plans to fly back to Michigan on Monday or Tuesday.
He said that because I had been on antibiotics for almost a week and wasn’t feeling any different there could be something really wrong. They were afraid that I developed “walking pneumonia” and was going untreated. They feared that staying in Haiti not treating it would cause long-term damage to my lungs. They thought that it was finally time for me to go back to Michigan.
I was completely devastated. I had about an hour to pack everything I had, tell the kids I was leaving, and say all my goodbyes. We can just sum it all up by saying it was the worst day of my life.
It felt all wrong. I could feel in my bones that God wasn’t finished with me in Haiti yet–there was still work left for me to do. I couldn’t stop thinking about all the things I had been telling myself I had to do before I left and how I wasn’t going to be able to do any of them. I felt sick to my stomach.
Julie started packing up my things as I went over to tell the kids the news. I could barely get the words out between the sobs. It’s hard to describe the looks on the kids’ faces, but they just didn’t know what to do. They just kept asking why I had to leave right away and why couldn’t I just go to the doctor and come back. They were asking if Pastor Tom would still come if I wasn’t there. They were just so lost and confused and unsure of how to react.
A few of them went off alone, a few wrote me goodbye notes, and Angeline chose one of her few pictures she has of herself and gave it to me, telling me to use it to remember her. They held my hand and begged me to stay. With every word and every touch my heart broke more.
And to make it worse, five of the older girls hadn’t been on the Torbeck property for a week because they were working with Leonie in Les Cayes. So I hadn’t been able to see them much and I wasn’t sure if I’d even be able to say goodbye.
After getting everything packed and ready to go, all the kids came together for one last goodbye. I wrote a song that I had planned on singing at the final talent show we’re putting on in a week or so, but since I thought I wouldn’t be there for there, I wanted to sing it for them before I left.
It was in English and I had already translated if for a few of the girls, but after I was finished [trying] to sing while bawling my eyes out, Yelline translated it for them. By the time she was finished even the kids were in tears.
There aren’t words to explain it.
So after we left Torbeck we did get a chance to stop in Les Cayes so I could say goodbye to the older girls and to Wawa which was just as hard.
I told the kids I had to go to Port-au-Prince and probably had to go back to Michigan, but that if by some chance I didn’t feel sick the next day I would be able to come back. I made sure to make it very clear that I was most likely going back to Michigan though.
It was decided on the drive to Port-au-Prince that I would get a chest x-ray done the next day and if it was good, I would stay, if not, I would go. From the way I felt, I was sure I would be going home, but Israelson said he just had a feeling I’d be staying. I just hoped he was right.
After a rough night trying to sleep and praying constantly, we found out that not only had my infection gone down, but that my lungs were perfectly clear as well!! I tried to hold back my tears as the doctor told me that I had nothing to worry about and that I should call my mom and tell her to stop worrying so much!
After that, Israelson couldn’t drive fast enough. I just wanted to be home with my kids again! I couldn’t wait to tell them I could stay!
We were able to surprise all of the kids, the older girls that night, and the rest of the kids in Torbeck the next morning.
I woke up to five of the kids trying to peek through my window and debating whether or not I was in there. As I heard them coming, I hide out of site until they had given up and walked back to the house. Then as soon as I knew all of them were gone, I walked out into the breezeway of the guesthouse in clear view from the window of Leonie’s house and as soon as I was in view, screams erupted from the house.
All the kids burst out of the door and ran over to tackle me with hugs and kisses. That afternoon was so filled with tears of joy, laughter, and love. I couldn’t have asked for a better welcome home.
I am just so humbled, amazed, and overwhelmed by God’s awesome hand in my life. Only He could have caused the healing that I experienced. I had prayed and prayed and prayed that if it was His will He would heal me and allow me to stay and continue doing His work in Haiti. He heard and answered! There is no other way to explain it than that our God is a gracious and healing God. And I am in awe of His mercy and goodness.
I have since made a list of things that I want to do or complete before I go back to Michigan and everyday I get to cross more and more off the list. It feels so good to be back and finishing all these things I knew I couldn’t leave undone. And seeing these kids’ smiling faces each morning is a reminder for me of God’s love and compassion.
There is still so much I want to write about, but honestly, it’s just too overwhelming right now. I am leaving this coming Thursday, August 18th, and heading back to Michigan. Believe me, I have so much more to share with you all, but it will have to wait until I’m back. I just want to enjoy every second I have left with the kids, with Israelson, and with the rest of my family here.
I look forward to writing again and reflecting on my time spent in Haiti, but I sure don’t look forward to going back to Michigan. Please keep me in your prayers and pray that God prepares my heart for this transition and gives me peace. As well as preparing and protecting the childrens’ hearts.
I can’t thank you all enough for all the love and support you have shared with me over my time here in Haiti. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to explain how much it means to me.
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